Author Archives: David Murphy

About David Murphy

David Murphy is an author.  Contact him at: DavidMurphy13 at Gmail dot com.

Sunday Limericks

There once was a maniacal maid Who prepared a cyanide marmalade She spread it on toast, On the ham, and the roast, Then set them on the table she’d laid. There once was an incredible prude Who was too shy … Continue reading

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A Whale with a Handlebar Mustache

Wilbur the whale had a distinguishing feature That made seem nobler than his fellow sea creatures: For on his grey face, the good Lord elected to place A handlebar mustache that made Wilbur look ace! In all other respects, Wilbur … Continue reading

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Scotland Vs. Ireland in the Finals of the World’s Sunburning Championship

It was noon in the tropics when Lily and Mary squared off Each on the beach with all their clothes off! Mary from Dublin, Lily from Perth, To see who could be the most burnt person on Earth! The winner … Continue reading

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Dill and Cole Roll the World’s Biggest Joint and Blow Themselves Up with Dynamite

One day, Dill and Cole decided to roll The biggest joint in all of the world. They thought it’d be funny To pool all their money And spend it on all the weed they could buy. And they thought it’d … Continue reading

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There Needs to be a Word for Laughing at Horror

There needs to be a word for laughing at horror When something’s so awful that you laugh in surprise And you say, “I know it’s not funny…” But there’s still a laughing look in your eyes. Like when you hear … Continue reading

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